Yes, there're those high priests of writing who keep judging those using AI. I've been writing since the late 1990s, a time when, despite my blindness, I didn't even have assistive technology to help me do my work. So, because I use a screen reader to write these words, are they going to say that I'm not writing actually because I use technology? Probably its time for us to dare them to write something without a dictionary of some kind open next to them, or a spellchecker or encyclopedia or wikipedia (even with all its mistakes). As you rightly said, they're nobody to decide whether someone is a writer or not. Writing is the only way we express ourselves. Nobody can question that. I not only use AI, but strongly advocate AI use. Any writer worth his or her salt will know how they write and how it reads. We decide when to use AI and when not to. we can't let anyone dictate what is good or bad. let the high priests sit on their thrones and keep passing judgements. We need not care!
Holy smokes, I commend you for writing despite your blindness! What I've struggled with here pales in comparison to that. And such valid points about the tech—ofc your writing is valid and thank gosh we have the tech to allow you to put those parts of yourself out into the world. I think there's currently just a gross misunderstanding of what AI even is—let alone how people use it. Unfortunately the people who don't ever even try it, are going to be the ones who also have the most to say about why no one should be using it. It's all rooted in fear and lack of understanding, I think. I agree with you, though—we need not care! :)
Great piece Stepfanie! I too have struggled with this kind of criticism. First, it was my work in Cuba (“You’re supporting a communist government—you should be ashamed!”), and now it’s my nude portraits. “Does your wife know what you’re doing? You should be ashamed.” Said wife, by the way, is the best editor my work has ever had.
A couple of famous notable things came to mind while reading your piece.
First, the tall poppy syndrome: The tall poppy syndrome is when people criticize or resent those who stand out or achieve success—just because they rise above the rest. It’s about cutting down anyone who grows “too tall.”
And then, this incredibly relevant quote by Roosevelt:
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."
In my humble opinion, you should be incredibly grateful for every single piece of vile, hateful criticism that comes your way—because you’re in the game. The game of creating. And only those playing get criticized. Most of the time, that criticism comes from people who are not playing and never will. They sit on the sidelines (cold and timid), just waiting to judge - because that is all they can do.
The two most striking examples of being both intensely loved and intensely hated: Tom Brady and Led Zeppelin. At various times, Brady had the best-selling jersey in the NFL and was voted the most hated player by fans. And my favorite band—Zeppelin—one of the most commercially and artistically successful groups of all time, was absolutely reviled by critics. Read the reviews of their early albums and you’d think the band never stood a chance.
So I say to you: keep playing the most important game of all. Wear each piece of criticism as a badge of honor. Let the haters hate—and have some sympathy for them, because at the end of the day, they’re not just being critical—they’re envious. Not necessarily of your work, or even your success, but of the freedom it takes to create something bold and personal and risk being seen. They’re envious of the courage it takes to put something real into the world and stand behind it. Most people never get that far. They stay safe. Hidden. They mock from the bleachers while secretly wishing they had the guts to step onto the field.
Wow, Lorne! First of all, thank you for this incredibly thoughtful comment. It means so much to me. Next, thank you for all these amazing examples that I hadn't thought of or considered. I've never even heard of the "tall poppy" but that resonates sooo deeply (probably the California girl in me). And that Tom Brady anecdote actually made me laugh out loud. My mom is a huge Brady fan and a lot of us always gave her crap about it, so I saw that one unfold firsthand. Incredible example.
Regarding Zeppelin—also one of my favorite bands—have you ever heard of the band Greta Van Fleet? I feel obligated to share them with you... they're a modern group but they sound so much like Zeppelin, it's wild. Maybe not your cup of tea, but I lost my damn mind when I first discovered them—chills to the bone at how much they reminded me of LZ!
Thank you again for this lovely comment. It's so easy to get caught up in the hate sometimes and I think it's important to really revel in the love when we get it, especially since it typically outweighs the hate but our brains just loooove to ruminate on the negative for whatever reason.
Chin up. Carry on. Don't let the bastards get you down!
Regarding people, many have a need to hold their own opinion in high regard, even when it is foolish. Frequently, they don't want to take a stand and present their opinion, but do take pleasure in sniping at other people's opinions.
Tim Ferris made a good point when he said about his own experience presenting his material publicly --- it's about the people who are interested in hearing your message and one shouldn't take much note of those who don't want to hear it or are hostile to towards the message.
I've been transitioning these last months, pushing myself to become someone who is unapologetically me. It sounds stupid to say, how could I have ever been anyone but me?
Like many, I spent far too many years trying to mould myself into who I thought I was supposed to be. This left intense feelings of dissatisfaction that I would pave over with periods of escapism abuse. Removing all of the escapes and forcing myself to be liked or disliked for who I truly am has felt so painful at times that I get tempted to turn back.
This piece is a great motivator to keep marching forward. To be anyone but me is to deprive my tribe of people (you're somewhere out there) from finding me and coming together in resonance. Thank you for lighting a flame to the people like me who need to be reminded that our messages are valued by our people, perhaps we just haven't found them yet.
p.s. your steel resolve in the face of the critics on the other side is admirable
Thanks so much, Skye! And it doesn't sound stupid at all—I think that's what we're all doing here... some of us just don't like to admit it. I wish you the best on your continued journey of becoming fully and unapologetically YOU.
Yep, Greta Van Fleet are amazing—been following them for years. What a voice! You should look up Robert Plant’s comments when he first heard them. Pretty amusing.
As humans, we’re hardwired for negativity bias. Back in caveman days, watching a beautiful sunset never saved your life—but noticing the rustle of a predator in the bushes did. So our brains give negative comments way more emotional weight than they deserve. As artists, we have to actively fight against that reflex or it can eat us alive. I ran photography workshops in Cuba for 20 years and got hundreds of glowing testimonials about how I changed people’s lives—and still, that one negative email I got really stung.
Your work is insightful and terrific. And I’m sure that for every critic who chimes in, there are hundreds more quietly appreciating and benefiting from your work.
Here are a few of my favorite quotes about criticism—feel free to keep them in your back pocket for whenever the haters get too noisy:
“Recognizing that people’s reactions don’t belong to you is the only sane way to create. If people enjoy what you’ve created, terrific. If people ignore it, too bad. If people misunderstand it, don’t sweat it. And if people absolutely hate it—if they attack you with savage vitriol and drag your name through the mud—just smile sweetly and suggest, as politely as you can, that they go make their own fucking art. Then stubbornly continue making yours.”
—Elizabeth Gilbert
“To escape criticism – do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.”
—Elbert Hubbard
“Listen carefully to the first criticisms made of your work. Note just what it is about your work that critics don’t like—then cultivate it. That’s the only part of your work that’s individual and worth keeping.”
—Jean Cocteau
Don’t let the haters get you down. I look forward to reading more of your great work.
".. These strangers began psychoanalyzing me based on a single post. .."
I was training a new puppy to stay on my farm's land and not the 2 roads, and she chased a cat into the dirt road and I was holding her nose and staring into her eyes saying No! and just then a pickup truck passed by and the woman passenger gave me her finger .. "white man must be beating his dog so kick him in testicles .."
She is another woman that needed a public punishment, Tasered till pissing and screaming like all of us when so delusional to lovingly correct us to know what we don't know and keeping our ignorance to ourselves.
Wouldn't that be a great policy that would improve all our lives?
Yes, there're those high priests of writing who keep judging those using AI. I've been writing since the late 1990s, a time when, despite my blindness, I didn't even have assistive technology to help me do my work. So, because I use a screen reader to write these words, are they going to say that I'm not writing actually because I use technology? Probably its time for us to dare them to write something without a dictionary of some kind open next to them, or a spellchecker or encyclopedia or wikipedia (even with all its mistakes). As you rightly said, they're nobody to decide whether someone is a writer or not. Writing is the only way we express ourselves. Nobody can question that. I not only use AI, but strongly advocate AI use. Any writer worth his or her salt will know how they write and how it reads. We decide when to use AI and when not to. we can't let anyone dictate what is good or bad. let the high priests sit on their thrones and keep passing judgements. We need not care!
Holy smokes, I commend you for writing despite your blindness! What I've struggled with here pales in comparison to that. And such valid points about the tech—ofc your writing is valid and thank gosh we have the tech to allow you to put those parts of yourself out into the world. I think there's currently just a gross misunderstanding of what AI even is—let alone how people use it. Unfortunately the people who don't ever even try it, are going to be the ones who also have the most to say about why no one should be using it. It's all rooted in fear and lack of understanding, I think. I agree with you, though—we need not care! :)
Great piece Stepfanie! I too have struggled with this kind of criticism. First, it was my work in Cuba (“You’re supporting a communist government—you should be ashamed!”), and now it’s my nude portraits. “Does your wife know what you’re doing? You should be ashamed.” Said wife, by the way, is the best editor my work has ever had.
A couple of famous notable things came to mind while reading your piece.
First, the tall poppy syndrome: The tall poppy syndrome is when people criticize or resent those who stand out or achieve success—just because they rise above the rest. It’s about cutting down anyone who grows “too tall.”
And then, this incredibly relevant quote by Roosevelt:
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."
In my humble opinion, you should be incredibly grateful for every single piece of vile, hateful criticism that comes your way—because you’re in the game. The game of creating. And only those playing get criticized. Most of the time, that criticism comes from people who are not playing and never will. They sit on the sidelines (cold and timid), just waiting to judge - because that is all they can do.
The two most striking examples of being both intensely loved and intensely hated: Tom Brady and Led Zeppelin. At various times, Brady had the best-selling jersey in the NFL and was voted the most hated player by fans. And my favorite band—Zeppelin—one of the most commercially and artistically successful groups of all time, was absolutely reviled by critics. Read the reviews of their early albums and you’d think the band never stood a chance.
So I say to you: keep playing the most important game of all. Wear each piece of criticism as a badge of honor. Let the haters hate—and have some sympathy for them, because at the end of the day, they’re not just being critical—they’re envious. Not necessarily of your work, or even your success, but of the freedom it takes to create something bold and personal and risk being seen. They’re envious of the courage it takes to put something real into the world and stand behind it. Most people never get that far. They stay safe. Hidden. They mock from the bleachers while secretly wishing they had the guts to step onto the field.
Keep up the great work.
Lorne
Wow, Lorne! First of all, thank you for this incredibly thoughtful comment. It means so much to me. Next, thank you for all these amazing examples that I hadn't thought of or considered. I've never even heard of the "tall poppy" but that resonates sooo deeply (probably the California girl in me). And that Tom Brady anecdote actually made me laugh out loud. My mom is a huge Brady fan and a lot of us always gave her crap about it, so I saw that one unfold firsthand. Incredible example.
Regarding Zeppelin—also one of my favorite bands—have you ever heard of the band Greta Van Fleet? I feel obligated to share them with you... they're a modern group but they sound so much like Zeppelin, it's wild. Maybe not your cup of tea, but I lost my damn mind when I first discovered them—chills to the bone at how much they reminded me of LZ!
Thank you again for this lovely comment. It's so easy to get caught up in the hate sometimes and I think it's important to really revel in the love when we get it, especially since it typically outweighs the hate but our brains just loooove to ruminate on the negative for whatever reason.
Thank you, thank you—I really appreciate you. x
Love this
that makes me so happy, thanks Ivy 🖤
You're great.
Chin up. Carry on. Don't let the bastards get you down!
Regarding people, many have a need to hold their own opinion in high regard, even when it is foolish. Frequently, they don't want to take a stand and present their opinion, but do take pleasure in sniping at other people's opinions.
Tim Ferris made a good point when he said about his own experience presenting his material publicly --- it's about the people who are interested in hearing your message and one shouldn't take much note of those who don't want to hear it or are hostile to towards the message.
Thank you for this very kind comment, Vaughn. You're totally right. And oof, Tim Ferris always has some bangers, doesn't he 😆
I've been transitioning these last months, pushing myself to become someone who is unapologetically me. It sounds stupid to say, how could I have ever been anyone but me?
Like many, I spent far too many years trying to mould myself into who I thought I was supposed to be. This left intense feelings of dissatisfaction that I would pave over with periods of escapism abuse. Removing all of the escapes and forcing myself to be liked or disliked for who I truly am has felt so painful at times that I get tempted to turn back.
This piece is a great motivator to keep marching forward. To be anyone but me is to deprive my tribe of people (you're somewhere out there) from finding me and coming together in resonance. Thank you for lighting a flame to the people like me who need to be reminded that our messages are valued by our people, perhaps we just haven't found them yet.
p.s. your steel resolve in the face of the critics on the other side is admirable
Thanks so much, Skye! And it doesn't sound stupid at all—I think that's what we're all doing here... some of us just don't like to admit it. I wish you the best on your continued journey of becoming fully and unapologetically YOU.
Thank you for continuing to create! Commenting here as proof of what you said, your writing has reached the right audience :)
Yep, Greta Van Fleet are amazing—been following them for years. What a voice! You should look up Robert Plant’s comments when he first heard them. Pretty amusing.
As humans, we’re hardwired for negativity bias. Back in caveman days, watching a beautiful sunset never saved your life—but noticing the rustle of a predator in the bushes did. So our brains give negative comments way more emotional weight than they deserve. As artists, we have to actively fight against that reflex or it can eat us alive. I ran photography workshops in Cuba for 20 years and got hundreds of glowing testimonials about how I changed people’s lives—and still, that one negative email I got really stung.
Your work is insightful and terrific. And I’m sure that for every critic who chimes in, there are hundreds more quietly appreciating and benefiting from your work.
Here are a few of my favorite quotes about criticism—feel free to keep them in your back pocket for whenever the haters get too noisy:
“Recognizing that people’s reactions don’t belong to you is the only sane way to create. If people enjoy what you’ve created, terrific. If people ignore it, too bad. If people misunderstand it, don’t sweat it. And if people absolutely hate it—if they attack you with savage vitriol and drag your name through the mud—just smile sweetly and suggest, as politely as you can, that they go make their own fucking art. Then stubbornly continue making yours.”
—Elizabeth Gilbert
“To escape criticism – do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.”
—Elbert Hubbard
“Listen carefully to the first criticisms made of your work. Note just what it is about your work that critics don’t like—then cultivate it. That’s the only part of your work that’s individual and worth keeping.”
—Jean Cocteau
Don’t let the haters get you down. I look forward to reading more of your great work.
Best
Lorne
".. These strangers began psychoanalyzing me based on a single post. .."
I was training a new puppy to stay on my farm's land and not the 2 roads, and she chased a cat into the dirt road and I was holding her nose and staring into her eyes saying No! and just then a pickup truck passed by and the woman passenger gave me her finger .. "white man must be beating his dog so kick him in testicles .."
She is another woman that needed a public punishment, Tasered till pissing and screaming like all of us when so delusional to lovingly correct us to know what we don't know and keeping our ignorance to ourselves.
Wouldn't that be a great policy that would improve all our lives?
“The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.”
― Albert Camus
Thanks again, Stepf. You inspire me to continue with my story cast. Cheers. bg