Stepfanie, I’ve just discovered your essays… you’re brilliant. It’s like you’ve uncovered the thoughts in my head that I was struggling to understand. I look forward to what insights you will reveal to me next. And thank you.
On a lighter note this reminds me of Agatha Christie’s Poirot saying “One must not let oneself go to seed.” But she reveals a deeper insight because Poirot’s vanity is at its core self knowledge. In a different vein altogether some spiritual practices such as yoga breathing understand the simple sound of one’s own breath as “inconceivably sacred “. I understand this to mean that facing one’s existence in even the simplest of life functions, breathing, is facing oneself with awe and what better place to start than with a mirror.
WOW.. I have had a lot of the feelings you describe - thank you for putting words to them. Profound piece.
I often think about how the world would be if the looking glass was never invented. Would we hold ourselves accountable for anything if we could not look into our own eyes?
At 60 I am often surprised when I pass a mirror. My reisdual self-image is still in my 30s, so it's always a shock to see the old man. I look back with fondness at my yougner self, who was never really happy with how he looked. Funny thing is I am happier now than I've ever been and while there is still a little bit of residual care, there is very little, about how people feel about me. Less all the time, and more comfotable in my own shell. Very interesting post!
When I look in the mirror these days, it's less "how did I get in here?" and more "how did I let this this happen?" (or, on a good day, "maybe i don't look *that* bad"). But a slight rephrasing of your original to "how did I get here?" leads to "what a long strange trip it's been. And a fun, fascinating, heartbreaking, terrible and wonderful one."
Not exactly where you were going but the whole self reflection & celebration bits are still there.
Now in the interest of both vanity and improving the self portrait (or inadvertently completing it!) gonna drag my woefully out of shape self out for an alternating run/walk/sprint trek through the desert as it tops 100 today (we're not neighbors or even same state but same climate) until I start hallucinating.
My attempts to leave a comment here keep vanishing. If it vanishes again, I give up, so leaving this meaningless bit that assuredly shall not vanish in an attempt to break the pattern and voila
Stepfanie, I’ve just discovered your essays… you’re brilliant. It’s like you’ve uncovered the thoughts in my head that I was struggling to understand. I look forward to what insights you will reveal to me next. And thank you.
Thank you for such a kind note, Carole. So glad you found your way here—welcome :)
What a lovely essay. Very thought provoking...
Tysm, Theresa. So glad it resonated :)
lovelyy
On a lighter note this reminds me of Agatha Christie’s Poirot saying “One must not let oneself go to seed.” But she reveals a deeper insight because Poirot’s vanity is at its core self knowledge. In a different vein altogether some spiritual practices such as yoga breathing understand the simple sound of one’s own breath as “inconceivably sacred “. I understand this to mean that facing one’s existence in even the simplest of life functions, breathing, is facing oneself with awe and what better place to start than with a mirror.
WOW.. I have had a lot of the feelings you describe - thank you for putting words to them. Profound piece.
I often think about how the world would be if the looking glass was never invented. Would we hold ourselves accountable for anything if we could not look into our own eyes?
At 60 I am often surprised when I pass a mirror. My reisdual self-image is still in my 30s, so it's always a shock to see the old man. I look back with fondness at my yougner self, who was never really happy with how he looked. Funny thing is I am happier now than I've ever been and while there is still a little bit of residual care, there is very little, about how people feel about me. Less all the time, and more comfotable in my own shell. Very interesting post!
When I look in the mirror these days, it's less "how did I get in here?" and more "how did I let this this happen?" (or, on a good day, "maybe i don't look *that* bad"). But a slight rephrasing of your original to "how did I get here?" leads to "what a long strange trip it's been. And a fun, fascinating, heartbreaking, terrible and wonderful one."
Not exactly where you were going but the whole self reflection & celebration bits are still there.
Now in the interest of both vanity and improving the self portrait (or inadvertently completing it!) gonna drag my woefully out of shape self out for an alternating run/walk/sprint trek through the desert as it tops 100 today (we're not neighbors or even same state but same climate) until I start hallucinating.
My attempts to leave a comment here keep vanishing. If it vanishes again, I give up, so leaving this meaningless bit that assuredly shall not vanish in an attempt to break the pattern and voila
That was predictable! Now one last try at a real one